What does it take to date the modern Indian woman

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The next time you see one of us at the bar, possibly looking happy and couple-like with someone, who is obviously not Indian, don’t just mutter into your drinks. Take a long look at what we get from them and what we get from you- and see to it that the next lady lucky enough to benefit from your charms will truly have a global relationship.

Even modern women want a man who respects and protects and here’s where Indian men are falling short. Catch up. Dear Men-Who-I-Sometimes-Come-Across-As-A-Single-Woman. Hi! I hope you’ve all been well and hale and hearty and all those things men should be. In fact, I especially hope you’ve been hale and hearty, because, darlings, we need to talk. About you.

Here’s the thing. You ask me sometimes, with an air of wounded innocence, why so many of our fellow countrywomen are choosing to date non-Indian men. And I hem and haw and tell you it’s not you, it’s them, and all those sweet little lies we say to make the other person feel better. But, since we’re having a woman-to-man chat here, let me drop the nonsense. The truth is: It is you. It’s always been you.

See, it’s not like we want to date foreigners. Really. I mean, we’re not xenophobic or anything, we like our boys in all shapes and sizes, but at the end of the day, we like easy options. People you don’t have to explain Hindi curse words to, people who understand how to dance to Bollywood music, people who get that we don’t hold hands or smoke cigarettes in front of our grandparents. See? Easy! Less explaining! What’s not to love?

But then, time after time of being with an Indian man, maybe even with one of you has left us, sadly, wiser and more jaded. (I’d like to add a tiny disclaimer here and point out that I’m not talking about all of you, only some of the people I and my fellow defectors have dated.) We feel like you’re always trying to control us, the way you have for generations. We feel that you’re not quite as, shall we say, open minded as your foreign brethren. We feel that maybe, if you found out we weren’t as pure as driven snow, you’d be happy to have your fun with us, but ultimately wouldn’t see this as a long term prospect.

Also, speaking of long term prospects, honeys, commitment phobia is so not cool any more. You’re in your mid to late thirties now! Stop being clichéd, man up, and step up to the Relationship Plate. If you like us, tell us. Don’t be scared that just that simple admission is going to make us want to drag you straight to the sacred fire. Fact: It’s a total myth that all we want is marriage and babies. Please. Personally, I think the two are a little overrated.

And let’s discuss your relationship with your mummies, shall we? We’re big fans of men who love their families, no doubt about that, but really; does she have to have the deciding vote on who leaves and who gets to stay in your life? You’re (I’m hoping) an independent, 21st century man, the world is your oyster-and sorry to break it to you, lads, but Mother doesn’t always Know Best.

So, the next time you see one of us at the bar, possibly looking happy and couple-like with someone, who is obviously not Indian, don’t just mutter into your drinks. Take a long look at what we get from them and what we get from you- and see to it that the next lady lucky enough to benefit from your charms will truly have a global relationship.

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