Are you getting married for the right reasons?

By a correspondence
“It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. “Does this line ring a bell? This is the most famous line of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice widely quoted for various reasons in English literature. However, does this line prick you conscience? Do you agree with this statement? You may say no. Well, my discussion is for those individuals, who may believe in this notion. Without any argument, we want to live a life of luxury, if no, at least comfort. Yes, who doesn’t want to? If we are mothers of our young daughters, who are going to get married, one of the top priorities we look for is a man, who possesses great wealth. Materialistic pleasures are a top priority more than anything else and that’s when the trouble begins. At times, we are so engrossed in finding a rich suitor for our daughter that we rarely give importance to other priorities, which may be more important than wealth. It’s when we make this mistake that several problems arises not just for your family but can spell danger for your daughter’s life.

Our lifestyle is moving faster than lightning. No one can deny that. Love marriages are a common fad as opposed to the days when elopement was the last solution. But the ideal of “arranged marriage” still thrives. It’s an institution which has not yet met its death. Most girls in India have had past relationships. Some were considered “time pass” and yet, some relationships were serious to the point of marriage. Some girls are forced into marrying a person her parents liked! Yet, parents do not understand the perilous nature of what may happen.

There are millions of girls, who believe that wealth is a very important requisite in choosing their life partner. “America-settled” boy only, some say. I know a family who married their daughter on the pretext of being settled in America and the poor girl paid a lot of dowry for the person who ill-treated her in every possible way. She was sent back after a forced divorce. The young girl of 24 years was on a lookout for a job as she wanted to start her life afresh. There are thousands of women, who are attracted to the “larger-than -life” ideal of getting married to a rich man that we forget our own principles and values. “Money can buy you a wedding but not a marriage.”

We do not understand some basic things about life which makes life even more complicated. Man or woman, the institution of marriage is not for everyone. We have false notions in our society that marriages are recommended for everyone. Not everyone can make romance or commitment last. In the institution of marriage, you do not live as an individual but live together with someone you will love for the rest of your life. Only if you are confident of this, should you move forward towards getting married. Marriage has its positive and negative sides too. You can be treated like a princess and doormat. If you can live like that and understand the balance of it, that one day may be a bed of roses and the other day, a cloudy sky; can you venture into this beautiful institution?

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