The top 10 horrors of Bollywood in 2010

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Raavan: There has to be something really flawed about a film which is based on the Ramayana, has Mani Ratnam at the helm of affairs, stars the junior Bachchan couple, boasts of music by A.R. Rahman, has the who’s who from the technical world and still doesn’t work. In fact, it failed from start to finish, which was a pity because one did expect something fantastic from the film. We had to hunt for scenes, where there were miniscule moments of entertainment. It turned out to be a rather poor film despite its budget. And a boring one at that!

Teen Patti: Teen Patti was a classic case of an interesting one-page concept taking a haphazard route at the overall scripting stage and going completely haywire in execution. Frankly, the drama became so disengaging after a point, that it became more annoying than amusing; a pity since this Amitabh Bachchan-starrer showed quite a lot of promise at its onset. The film was also a big letdown due to loose editing. Scenes didn’t necessarily flow in a sequence, while the much hyped interaction between Bachchan and Ben Kingsley too was totally forced.

Hisss: Hisss has to be the lousiest and most terrible film ever made in the “hissstory” of Indian cinema. This may sound like an emotional reaction, but then emotions run really wild all through those agonizing 100 minutes that one suffers this torture that goes by the name of Hisss. No filmmaker in his/her right mind is expected to attempt something like this — a complete waste of time, effort and money.

Kites: How bad can a film be? Especially when the people at the helm of affairs are none other than Rakesh Roshan, Anurag Basu and Hrithik Roshan. In the case of Kites, one is forced to say — quite a lot. When a number of creative geniuses come together, there can very well be a situation where it turns out to be a recipe for disaster. This is what exactly happened in the case of Kites which was a Spanish-English film but was sold as Hindi cinema.

Kuchh Kariye: This must have been one film that would have been made by a bunch of Sukhwinder Singh’s enemies, who would have instigated the singer to come in front of the camera. Kuchh Kariye was a terrible film where one saw Sukhwinder Singh sing, talk, narrate, debate and argue around anything and everything which was about neeyat and insaaniyat. Either he did it all under his breath with bad dialogue delivery or horribly tuned full-throated songs. He was bad in both and yes, that’s an understatement.

Ramaa – The Saviour: Come on, they can’t be serious — one ended up saying 20 minutes into Raama – The Saviour. Okay, so one doesn’t expect great things from the film. However, the way Raama – The Saviour unfolded, you’d know that it was a totally compromised product which would have been better off stuck in the cans. One of the weakest films to release in 2010, it had Saahil Khan in the lead, who was required to be beefcake from start to finish. Though his Tarzan-like persona required him to flash his 6 (or were they 8, 10 or 12) packs in practically every shot, it turned repulsive very shortly.

Road, Movie:
This movie was a huge disappointment for the fans of Abhay Deol, since one definitely expected yet another strong characterization on the lines of a Dev D or Oye Lucky Lucky Oye. Unfortunately, Road, Movie was hardly the kind of film that fulfilled these expectations. Frankly, there have been incomprehensible movies in the past but Road, Movie went off road and took off on a different route altogether, pun intended. This was a road trip that was avoided by one and all.

Hello Darling: A comedy, which was about sexual harassment at the workplace, starred three leggy beauties like Gul Panag, Celina Jaitley and Essha Koppikar, had the backing of Subhash Ghai and was promoted as a chic flick, Hello Darling was expected to bring in the laughs at regular intervals in its 100-minute duration. The idea was to put in three shapely women and a sex comedy was waiting to be served. But what about a storyline? No wonder an attempt to bring to the fore a serious subject in a comic vein failed, and how.

Pankh: Towards the interval of Pankh Bipasha Basu asks the lead actor Maradona — “Why don’t you ask the audience about your real identity?” The young man (who is confused about his sexuality) replies, — “in this film, I am the actor as well as the only viewer.” He couldn’t have been more right! Frankly, this is not even the kind of film, which could have enjoyed a successful journey through the festival rounds. There is just no            redeeming factor in Pankh, which has to be the  weirdest film to have come out of Bollywood this year.

Sadiyaan: Sadiyaan stayed true to its title. It was actually a sadiyon purani kahaani and if one felt that there would be some nostalgic value attached to it, that’s futile because there was none. Instead, what one suffered was one predictable scene after another. Yes, it was okay to set a film in the late 1960s, but that that didn’t mean that scenes belonging to that era had to be copied.

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