Married? Learn to share

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So you’re getting used to your new husband and this whole new set of changes that marriage has suddenly brought into your life. Up till now, you had been used to having your own space (and room): Then, you could play blaring music, leave your clothes/books/bags on any or all surfaces, or even talk on the phone all night.

But with him and you sharing so many aspects of your life together, things aren’t the same anymore. Don’t let that be something that stresses you out! After the first few weeks, you’ll see that things will start falling in place naturally.

Life separately, together
Marriage, like a great man once said, is not about living each other’s lives, but living your individual lives together. Just the way he has his work and circle of friends, you too have your own set of friends (apart from a common circle), your work, your passions and interests to pursue.
You may want to learn every little nuance about the gentleman’s game because he’s a cricket buff, but that doesn’t mean you have to give up your passion – say dance class – for it.
After all, it’s these little things put together that make you who you are. All it takes is a little flexibility and understanding on both sides.

Respect
The best way to ensure that you are left with your personal space intact is to respect his. When you don’t interfere too much, he too will let you be. Asking him to share his email password with you and then feeling offended if he asks for yours, doesn’t make sense, right?

Give and take
As much as space and freedom is important in a marriage, so is give and take. While maintaining and demarking your own personal space with your hubby is one thing, leaving him completely out of certain aspects of your life – your finances, home improvement projects, decisions on motherhood – doesn’t bode well for your marriage.
So when you’re sharing a life together, just make the demarcations of your space a little bit flexible, so that he doesn’t feel left out!

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