Amicable divorce is better than loveless marriage


By Jyoti Mukherji

Norcross, GA: This has reference to the opinion — Divorce is easy, but compatibility sustains marriage — of  Loknath Patel published in India Tribune dated April 24. I totally disagree with Loknath Patel’s view that divorce is easy. In real world marriage is easier than getting divorced as many Bollywood movies which depict —  boy meets girl, falls in love, marries and gets divorced following some misunderstanding.  But in real life it is difficult due to legal tangle. One can get married in five minutes by uttering two simple words “I do” or  by walking seven times around the holy fire or by signing in marriage register. But it takes years to get a divorce, it can get bitter or even nasty;  and a lot of money is spent in lawyer’s fees.

Contrary to Patel’s belief, marriage requires a lot of compromise and adjustment. The Bhagavad-Gita or any other religious book provides guidance and inspiration to all humans for their entire life not just to married couples only.

In olden  days, marriages used to last lifetime, because the wives used to stay home and raise children and do housework. Wives were silent partners, submissive and tolerated a lot of abuse and ill-treatment by their husbands and in-laws.

But in modern times since both men and women get college education and have fulltime jobs, they live a hectic and stressful lifestyle. They find their partners without much research through matrimonial Web sites. Also, people marry for wrong reasons (such as money, lust, or family pressure) and for wrong priorities (such as help raising children, obtaining green card, social status, etc). A marriage should be for companionship, friendship and spiritual growth between a man and a woman.

The debate can be endless. No two marriages are similar. So people should assess their individual situations and make their marriages work by understanding, mutual respect and compromise. No need to keep marriages alive by family pressure or by guilt. Just as a broken pearl and a broken mirror cannot be made whole, a broken marriage cannot be repaired. It will be best to get amicable divorce and go on with their separate lives. It is more practical and makes sense in the long run.

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